Vídeo promocional Mujeres Descosidas

lunes, 6 de julio de 2009

LOLA Y MARI PILI EN EL BANCO

-Mari Pili, vamos al banco, he de poner la cartilla al día.
-Lola vamos todos los días y no hay nada que colocar porque nada tienes.
-Esta vez es distinto. Voy a montarles el pollo.
-Pues conmigo no cuentes… Se pueden fijar en mí y no quiero. Son tiempos para pasar desapercibida.
-… Así que les debes dinero y no quieres pagar. Lo que tienes que hacer es montarles el chocho como yo, ya verás qué pronto te echan y te dan por insolvente majara.
-Pollo, chocho…, que no, Lola. Yo, serena, invisible…
-Si, te entiendo. Sólo quieres que te vean en diferido. Pues yo no. Van a palpar mi mala leche… Fíjate, me han puesto números colorados. No lo entiendo. A ver, si no tenía ni números, ahora van y me plantan unos y en rojo, ¿pero que se han creído ellos?
-Muy sencillo: te has gastado lo que no tenías.
-No, no, eso ya lo hice hace mucho. Ahora pasa algo más y esto se lo han inventado, pero se van a enterar… Mira, ya hemos llegado. Entremos.
-Lola, como me conozcan, salgo corriendo.
-Tranquila. Si las cosas se ponen añiles, salgo contigo… Anda, qué guarra es la gente, tiran los papeles al suelo. Espera que lo recojo… Uy, ¿Qué es esto?
-A ver, trae… Lola, es un cheque nominativo.
-¿A quién nominan?
-A nadie.
-¿Entonces? No sabía que los bancos fueran la casa del Gran Hermano con lo tacaños que son.
-No, Lola, no te líes. Esto es dinerito contante y sonante. Vamos a medias. Tú lo has encontrado y yo te lo he traducido. ¿Los otros papeles qué son?
-Espera que leo… ¿Desde cuándo los bancos dan baterías de cocina, vajillas y televisores?
-Desde que son filiales del Corte Inglés… Trae que lo leo que no te enteras de nada… Loooooooooola…
-¿Quéeeeeeeee?
-Todo es nuestro. Claro qué, ¿cómo nos lo vamos a llevar?
-¿Cuántos millones? ¿Nos caben en el carrito de la compra, Mari Pili?
-¿Millones? Te hablo de un plasma, una vajilla y una batería.
-¿Y el cheque sin padre ni madre?
-tres mi euros. Mil quinientos para cada una. Hemos hecho el día.
-De ingresarlo en la cuenta nada de nada. Que nos lo den en metálico porque son capaces de quedarse con ello con el pretesto de que les debemos dinero… Vamos.
-Déjame hablar a mí que tú la cagas, Lola.
-Vale, yo medio muda. Tú diriges el pastel y yo remato la estocada.
-Buenos días… Veníamos a por estos regalos de la madre de mi amiga. Ella está afónica.
-¿Yo afónica, Mari Pili? Y de mi madre nada de nada. esto es nuestro.
-Loooooooola…
-Ay, es verdad, estoy casi muda, ¿sabe usted? Tengo unos dolores terribles de vientre que me cortan la voz.
-Loooooooola…
-Me callo, me callo… Mi amiga corta el pastel, señor banquero. Habla Mari Pili.
-Déme los papeles, señora. Voy a la caja fuerte a por los regalos. ¿Tienen coche?
-Tenemos carrito. Usted dénoslo que ya nos apañamos. Mi Pepe dice que para apañá no hay quien me…
-Looooooooola…
-Ya me callo, Mari Pili… Mira se ha metido en la caja fuerte… ¿Y si lo encerramos?
-Loooooooola…
-Hija, me vas a desgastar el nombre… Uy, mira, se le ha cerrado la puerta y no digas que he sido yo. Mi pensamiento va por libre.
-¡Auxilio!, socórranme…
-Tranquilo, señor banquero. ¿Quiere un vaso de agua?
-Quiero que me saquen de aquí.
-Todo menos ponerse nervioso, señor banquero. Ahí tiene que estar fresquito, ¿no?
-Padezco claustrofobia, señora. Apriete el botón rojo.
-¿Rojo, dice usted? Ni de coña. Con los rojos me llevo fatal. Si quiere aprieto el violeta, es el color de moda, señor banquero.
-Lola aprieta el botón ahora mismo. Somos ladronas, pero muy caritativas.
-Ni ladro, ni ladrona, Mari Pili. Haz justicia al diccionario español que es muy rico. Un poquito de por favor…
-Lola nos están grabando las cámaras, aprieta el botón que se nos muere.
-¿Cámaras, dices? ¿Dónde? Pepeeeeeee, aquí estoy, hooooooooola.
-Lola, las cámaras están en el otro extremo, hija. Estás mirando a los extintores.
-Que me ahogo, por caridad, el botón rojo.
-Señor banquero, cállese un momentito que estoy saludando a mi Pepe.
-Looooooooola, aprieta el botón, por tus hijos, que se nos asfixia…
-Señor banquero, ¿el botón violeta para qué es? Es tan bonito, voy a apretar.
-Es para llamar a la policía… Apriete el rojo… Por favor.
-¿Policía, ha dicho señor banquero?… Pepe, me tengo que ir. Otro día te dirijo unas palabritas… Mari Pili aprieta el rojo, mis convicciones me lo impiden y salgamos corriendo como dos potrillos… Señor banquero, mañana volvemos a por nuestros chismes.
-Va a volver tu tía, Lola. No servimos ni para ladronas… Corre.
-Ni falta que hace porque tú y yo somos muy honradas. Mira, ahí llega la policía. Pon cara de paisaje, Mari Pili… Por cierto, me llevo unos ceniceros, mira qué monos…

101 comentarios:

joselop44 dijo...

Buenísimo, me he reido mucho mientras lo leia. Vaya situación más cómica, jajajaa
Un abrazo.

JAVIER AKERMAN dijo...

Mi querida Mª Ángeles:
Gracias a Lola cada vez que vaya al banco sonreiré recordando el relato.
Feliz semana y un fuerte abrazo.

tecla dijo...

Ahora mismito voy y se lo cuento a los del Banco. Vaya cara que se les va a poner.
Son unos ladrones.
Se lo tienen merecido.

Gustavo dijo...

Buenísimo, desde ahora en mas voy a saludar a las cámaras,no me habia percatado de eso.

Un beso

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jajajajaajaj....ES QUE PARA REIR SOLO HAY QUE HACERSE DE LAS AVENTURAS DE ESTE PAR DE LOCAS!!!!,PERO MUY BUENA INFORMACION ESTEREMOS PENDIENTES DE LAS CAMARAS,DE LOS NUMEROS ROJOS Y DE NO APRETAR NINGUN BOTON!

MAG dijo...

Me encanta Lola!!!

Pobre del banquero, el solo estaba trabajando, pero si lo ve del lado bueno, ya tiene una historia mas para sus nietos, jajaja

Abrazos

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